DON'T START NO SHIT, WON'T BE NO SHIT

Another list of interesting happenings in my recent livings...

1. Lost $100 at the boat, but sadly enjoyed every second of it.

2. Heard the worst pick up line ever: Turn around and let me dance with that booty. I told him to get his big-nose-havin' self out of my fucking face.

3. Bought a couch, loveseat, and a recliner. The couch and loveseat are camel-colored and the recliner is olive green. They are all suedy. I get to pick them up on Friday.

4. Fake nails will be banned from the hospital effective May 1st. So mine are gone. Well I might get them put back on before my trip to Texas.

5. Wore knee high boots with a four inch heel and didn't fall or feel like a sasquatch.

6. Congrats to Nick and Kyle for getting in the newspaper. My dad saved it for me. And also apparently told all of his friends about it. He is very proud.

7. Went out to dinner with Corinne and didn't want to kill her.

8. Was walking around my room and my arm got caught on a hanger. I found it so amusing that I shot water that I had been drinking through my nose.

9. Got rear-ended at Harpole's just as soon as I parked. Then the guy drove off really fast before I could hop out and see his license plate, leaving a big green stripe on my car. Got to sit in the back of a cop car for 30 minutes. Actually had a good conversation with him. He has three black belts and teaches some kind of martial arts and is a professor at USI and likes Japanese art. Had some friends take pictures of me, so I could "accidentally" leave them sitting out on the dining room table for my father to "accidentally" see.

10. My father and mother were in the same room. My father was drunk. Totally awkward. Later after she left, my Dad confessed his everlasting, undying love for her. And told me that I have something to look forward to... aging beautifully like her. Bleh. He did bring me a stromboli from the sports bar though!

11. My mother has been trying for weeks to speak with my sister about sex and puberty and menstration, etc... Apparently she has started using deoderant. And my mother is freaking out.

12. Another thing about my mother...she likes to call me ass early on my days off. Like 7,8,9 am. As she did Sunday morning. Unlike a normal person that would say "oh you are sleeping, well call me later," she keeps talking, even after several reminders that I'm trying to sleep. And about stupid shit: what she needs to get at Wal-mart, what I am doing 2 thursdays from now, who see saw at the gas station, what detergent she just switched to. I almost had a nervous breakdown. I started screaming at her uncontrollably just short of exploding into tears. "I'm going to fucking freak out if you don't leave me alone." After that she let me sleep. But then I was so mad, I could feel the anger building up, like I seriously think I had smoke coming out of my ears. So I stomped around the house for a couple of hours and THEN went back to sleep.

13. Season finale of My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance' is on tonight.

14. Just printed off 13 10-page articles for a dumb ass case study assignment.

15. Start clincials at Matthew 25 next week. I am actually very excited. Should be incredibly interesting and work my time, unlike most of the shit I have to do for this damn degree. One thing that I am totally not looking forward to drivign over the bridge to Henderson. I fucking hate bridges!

16.There was a guy that fell of a cliff at Garden of the Gods a couple weeks ago. I know because it was all over the news. Well he was just over here with Brian, fucking weird. He has like 100 staples in his face.

17. I ordered a bunch of shit off the internet last week and I got it in the mail today. My favorite: a light switch plate that has a picture of the statue of David on it and where his penis should be, there's a hole for the switch. Love it.

18. Gonna go do some laundry and rub one out.

IS YOU IS, OR IS YOU AIN'T

Looks like I am going to San Antonio for Spring Break. Pretty fucked up considering that I swore I would never go to Texas after seeing all the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies. I think I will be fine. It will be my first time flying by myself. And wondering around whatever airport I get stuck in for how many ever hours by myself. It will be an adventure. Or how my mother referred to it..."Aw you are such a big girl!"

I tried to sign on to AOL earlier and it said that my account had been temporarily secured due to an account contract violation. I had to answer a bunch of trick questions and then change my password. Finally after about 30 minutes, it let me on. But then I got two immediate instant messages, both from screennames I had never seen. One said "you pervert" and the other "You emailed me, do i know you?" So Im guessing that someone got my password and reaked havoc through AOL. I deleted the IM's just in case it was a trap. So that sucked.

Decided that I am going to get drunker than a bitch this weekend. Like vomit-drunk. Well maybe not that drunk. How about dance like a retard and not care-drunk.

It's beautiful outside. And I got off early from work today. I think I will call around and start up a frisbee game. Yayerr.

Liz. good luck on your visitor this weekend! Stacey good luck with whatever job you eventually end up working at.

I have become rather addicted to saying a certain racial slur. It has totally taken over my vocabulary. And it is never towards the race that it is typically used towards. It's just a word that has become a replacement for every noun or pronoun that comes out of my mouth. While I find it terribly hilarrrrious, others probably don't. So if I think you won't find it as funny as I do to turn a horrible word into something utterly amusing, then you probably won't here me say it. Or hear me replace random words in a song with it. Or call my coworkers it. Or use it as a greeting to answer my phone. Just needed to get that off my chest.

Well fuck...I think we just had an earthquake. The whole house shook and I got thrown out of my chair. That was fucking crazy. Just called my dad, he thinks that I just fell asleep at the computer and woke up too fast. Fast enough to throw myself on the floor.

Turns out that I have to pay $1 for my state taxes this year. How stupid. I have had to pay $3 for the past two years. At least that seems a little more meaningful.

Well I better go.
Ego Amo Te Puers

went to the club now fifty-leven times

well well well

looks like I have my apartment choices narrowed down to 2 or 3. Already know what living room furniture I am going to get. Just need to convince my dad to let me borrow the truck and to let me store it all in the front room for the next 3 months. still thinking i need a two-bedroom, at least to have somewhere not in the open to put that damn fairy picture that i got for xmas from my mother. I could also use it for my study and a guestroom. I am thinking about having a house warming party and I will register at stores as if I am getting married. Thanks for the list, Liz. I will start checking things off and adding things to it that I have already purchased so I can cross them out.

I have been granted a paid vacation during my spring break. I need ideas on what to do with myself for a week without work and school. So post those in my comments section! Sorry that the California plans didn't work out, remorseless bitch. Was thinking about maybe going to see Nathan before he moves out of the country. not sure if I feel like driving anywhere. I think i will clean out every drawer and closet and take things to goodwill and get ready for my great escape. My dad refuses to have a yard sale. He thinks it will make us look like trash. ring ring. hey dad answer the fucking clue phone. I think we have done a good enough job with using the BMW car cover on your thunderbird.

Went to see You Got Served the other day with my sister. She was super excited because the cast included some of B2K's finest actors. Oh fuck, it was so ridiculous. It is so weird to look at her and know that i was her age when she was born. And to know that I had to babysit her all the fucking time. There is no way that she would be able to do that. She won't even brush her teeth unless you tell her 12 times and then inspect them when she is done just to make sure that she didn't just get the toothbrush wet to fool you. Anyway, we had fun.

For those of you that have showed interest in my recent life happenings, you will be getting an email. Ahhhh. It's so fucking crazy how things can happen when you least expect them. And how people's attitudes and feelings about you can bounce from one extreme to the other. And how one day someone will tell you that you would be such a pretty girl if you had a fashion sense and wore nicer shoes. And then the next night have a guy compliment you on your shoes, when you almost started to doubt how comfortable you were with yourself. And how you keep ignoring all the signs that you should definitely move out of this hell whole. Of course by you, I mean I and me and myself. No not that Beyonce song. SIGH

Well i love you guys and will talk to y'all lata

Oh wait wait.... my mother got kicked out and banned from her "bar" that she constantly attends to piss off her ex-boyf. So then her and her friends went to restaurant. Guess who happens to be their waiter? Matt. He got so nervous that he dropped a tray full of food all over some woman. HAHAHAHAHAHA May he continue to get all that he deserves.

Oh Stacey, some guy tried to buy that Wild Turkey t-shirt off my body the other night. I told him it was priceless. He even went up to $100.

OK OK I think that's it. lovies to all and to all some lovies.

*Be Serious