Hand-me-down flip flops
Hand-me-down socks

So basically the consensus is that e'ryone is going crazy. Chris is wishing death on people. Stacey is going postal. Ginger is pulling guns on people. I, too, would like to be on the boat. I'm good at stealing stuff.

Not much really going on, besides work, school, and clinicals e'ry fucking day. I did get called off work today though. Which was really nice, except for the fact that instead of sleeping or playing outside or doing something that I totally deserve, I cleaned out my closet and all my drawers. I didn't get to do my planned spring cleaning during break since I was in Texas, so I felt really guilty. So now I have 3 huge bags of shit that I am going to take to goodwill. Oh Liz, I found that blue sweater that you let me wear while you were here. I'll get around to mailing it to you sometime soon, even though you probably don't need a sweater. But it will give me an excuse to send you stuff! Oh uh did you ever get puggy back?

Went to Denny's last night with Ginger. We decided not to go out this weekend. Of all the times she has gotten us into a fight at Harpole's, I never would've thought she would try to punk somebody out at the Denny's. So we are sitting in our booth and this girl walks in wearing something very unflattering for her shape and size, and of course Ginger makes a comment to me about it. The girl walks by and sits behind Ginger with some 19 year old Denny's regulars. I didn't get a chance to see her face. So we get our food and we start eating. This girl starts talking really loudly about recently making out with some guy that asked her to spit in his mouth. And then they kept talking about spit and sputum and stuff that I didn't want to hear while I was eating eggs. Fair enough, right? So I pleasantly and jokingly say, dude that's gross, quit with the spit, we're eating. The bitch says, we'll you can move. OOHHHH NO, YOU DID NOT. Ginger goes crazy. The girl turns around. It's Nicki Lenko (sp?). I fell out, but then gethered myself and calmed Ginger down. Wow has she let herself go.

Clinicals right now are pretty awesome. I am doing them at the HIV/AIDS clinic that Nick used to work at. I love it. One bad thing... The nurse practitioner that I am following keeps referring to me as Paris, because he thinks that I look like Paris Hilton. NO. One one more bad thing...It's in Henderson and I FUCKING HATE bridges. I'm doing pretty good though. I have only freaked out once so far. And that was because it was rush hour and raining and I was surrounded by semi-trucks. And by freaking out, I mean, I couldn't breathe, I was having heart palpitations, sweating profusely, and crying like a fucking pussy.

I came home from work the other night around 8pm. As soon as I walk in, I smell smoke..not cigarette smoke, not pot smoke, but fire smoke. So Dad is standing in the kitchen leaning against the counter, staring at the microwave. Hey Dad what are you doing? Dad: Cooking me some food. I look in the microwave...It's on, but there is nothing in it and it is counting down from 49 minutes. Dad what the hell are you doing, there isn't anything in it! Dad: Oh then I don't know what I'm doing. What the hell! Dad let me make you something to eat, what do you want? Dad: Nothing, I'm never eating again! Ever! Whatever.

Hung out with Brian and Eli tonight. They are doing well. Just in case you were worried. They turn 21 in July, I think. Party time.

Had my apartment search narrowed down to one, but now I have found like 5 more that I like. I cannot wait to get out of this fucking house. I could straight up piss all over myself. I keep on having nightmares that my dad accidentally burns the house down while im asleep in my room. Why you say? Hhmm...because my dad leaves the microwave on for 2 hours with nothing in it, leaves the stove on, falls asleep with a newly lit cigarette in his hand. Anwway, my apartment is going to rock out.

Ordered my cap, gown, tassel, announcements, gold seal stickers, and my graduation pictures. The pictures turned out really well and I ordered a shit load, so when they get in, I'll send 5 to all of you so you can give them to your family and freinds.

Decided that I am going to eat and live off of Subway for the rest of my life. I love Subway. I love Southwest sauce. Mhhmmm. OK now im fucking hungry and its 2 am. Fuck.

This update dedicated to the Remorseless Blog. It's in a better place now. May it rest in peace.

The Sex He Slipped Into My Coffee, The Way He Felt When He First Saw Me

Well I'm back in Indiana. Made it home safely. Texas was beautiful.

* Flew to San Antonio out of Louisville. Had a layover in Cincinnatti.
* Went to Gruene, Tx for dinner.
* Went to Austin for a couple days. Went "ridin' the river", this is a phrase used when floating on the Blanco River in San Marcos, Tx. We (me and 2 other girls that I met during my trip) floated in intertubes along a really long river. Took 4 hours. But it was okay because one of the girls, Crystal, brought a big thermos full of grapefruit juice and vodka. Yeah you're right, it is good. So needless to say, I could barely walk to the car when Todd picked us up. I think this is when I emailed you Stace. :)
* Crystal took me to downtown Austin while the boys were at work. Very neat place. A lot of stuff to do. She forced me to take pictures of "very important and widely known" places that I had never heard of. Learned some new lingo...a ho, whether male or female is called a dirty leg. Getting drunk is referred to as being twisted. Heard more country than I ever cared to in my entire life span.
*Drove back to San Antonio. Hung out around the hotel. It was really nice, we had a full kitchen. So I could pretend to cook. While Todd was working, I did laundry and dishes, laid out by the pool, watched Spanish Soap Operas, and walked around the area only to find two strip clubs rather than a mall.
*Next day, I took a cab to an enormous mall while Todd was working. My first cab ride ever. And it was actually very pleasant. First thing I did when I got into the mall...went into an Oakley store. I broke my sunglasses when I first got to Texas, so I thought I would look around. I think I blacked-out, because all I remember is leaving the store with a pair of $200 sunglasses. Which I ended up taking back a couple hours later when I realized that I have no business owning $ 200 sunglasses when I break and/or lose a pair every minute. This mall was probably 10 times the size of the one here. It had a coach store, a steve madden store, bebe, guess, banana republic, well that's all I can remember. I know Liz, your malls are better. Went crazy in the J Crew store.
* Saw the Alamo. Enough Said.
* Got to ride around in a hummer the whole time. I want one.
* Went to the Riverwalk. Apparently this is the place to be. It's a bunch of restaurants and bars and shops. Instead of a street in the middle, there is a river and you can ride a gondola down it. First off, we went to a Mexican restaurant. Todd's co-worker (whose name is also Todd) told the mariachi band it was my 21st birthday. So they sang to me and I got my picture taken with them. Then I got a 60 ounce margarita, which rocked my world. I got to keep the glass. My dad when I put it in the sink this morning, "Oh hell Ashleigh, what did you do?" Went to an Irish Pub, with an Irish guy playing the piano and singing and talking shit to everyone. He called Todd Polish when he accidentally clapped in the wrong spot of the song, then he called him a Jew when he jokingly asked for change when he tipped him. Then told a bunch of non-PC jokes. What do you call a 350 lb Wisconsin woman? Anorexic. I wish I could remember more. Then went to a bar called Dick's, where it is their job to be as rude as possible. The bartender was cussing at us and we fought back and threw shit and took money out of his tip jar, and other Todd got behind the bar and juggled liquor bottles. Had a killer time. Then went to a dance club and tore it up. Went back to the hotel and hung out. Accidentally broke the screen out of the window, which fell four stories to the ground as a guy was walking by.
* Then the next day I went home. Todd took me to the airport. Really sucked. I tried to drag the week along as slow as possible, but it still managed to slip by really fucking fast. I had an excellent time with an excellent person that I will never forget. I had little cartoon hearts floating around my head the whole time. It's unbelievable how you can actually be in the right place at the right time and how someone can make you feel so happy. I haven't been this happy in years. mmmwwwwaaaah.
*So wondered around the airport and bought Alex and I matching "Don't Mess with Texas" t-shirts. One of the baggage claim workers looked straight up like Martin Lawrence. Had a layover in ATL. What a fucking crazy airport. I had to take trams and shuttles and shit to get to my terminal. This is when I text-messaged you Liz. And by the way, you're an ungrateful remorseless bitch.
*Got back to Louisville late Thursday night. My mother and her friends picked me up. She brought me a couple Ear Ecstasy stickers. And didn't make me pay for gas. Then we went to Joe's Crab Shack and begged them to let us in even though they were closing. Then my mother stole their salt and pepper shakers right after the server was bitching about people always stealing them. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, huh?
*Now I'm home, well I have been for 27 hours. And I hate it. It's like 30 degrees here. It was in the 80's there. I was reallly confused when I woke up this morning. Damnit. No definite sightings of Leatherface, though I did think one guy looked dangerously similar. Got a lot of solo-airport experience for when I come visit you guys in Cali this summer.
* Well my computer is making grunting noises so I guess I should go before it overheats and blows up.