Oooh Yeah Girl, Run that Game

Passed a nursing test today. It was the one that I failed last year. So that's a plus. Went to my great grandma's 90th birthday party tonight. It was kinda weird. You could tell that she was depressed about turning 90, but also at the same time, she had no idea what was going on. It was pretty sad. This just intensifies my biggest fear, bigger than heights and vampires and clowns, my fear of getting old and dying. I hate the thought of not being able to take care of myself, not being able to walk, or brush my own teeth. I hate seeing my patients get worse and knowing that it will be me 40-50 years. It's so freaking scary. The first 20 years went by so fast, the next 20 will go by faster. And I'm worrying about some stupid test. Damnit.
I have been having another recurring dream... I get stabbed in the chest like 40 times and the guy who does it is and the setting are different everytime. And while this happens, my friends just sit and watch. Afterwards, the guy says,"I just did it so that you wouldn't have to." And then everyone watches me die. Ok what the fuck is that? Cindy is convinced it has something to do with a broken heart. Someone out there let me know.
Matt called me yesterday and I thought I was going to throw up. He just wanted to know if I knew anything about one of our friends that was in the hospital. Very brief, very casual and I just wanted to curl up and die. I was doing really well. I hadn't thought about him in days. You soon forget the things you cannot see, right? Ands he calls and fucks everything up and reminds me that he still exists. I think that this is an obvious explanation for why I'm never alone. I need someone new to forget about the old. I hate it already and it's only been 3-4 weeks. Ugh.
Had dinner with the family last night. We sat at the table for the third time. Cindy had one of her sons over. And I smoked pot with my dad. I know...WHAT?!? That's right folks, it's finally happened.
I think I have bronchitis. It sucks!
Well I'm gonna go watch TV until I fall asleep.
Later

Stupid Bitch in my Beach House

Well lets see...
went to a pajama party at Amy's (Cindy's daughter) house. It was a lot of fun. Well at least a good excuse to by a Tommy Hilfiger robe. Do you guys remember when we went to Blockbuster to rent movies and J.D. said something about balls or monkeys or something and that one goth girl said, "I swear if I hear someone say that again, I'm going to tape up my hand and roll it in glass and punch 'em." Remember? Well I think it is either Amy's roommate or another girl that was there (at the pajama party). Who knows, they all look the same. Anyway, I had fun, drank a bunch of Shmirnoff Ice - Triple Black, and made some new friends. Then went over to another new friend's house and stayed up until 8:00 am.

Wednesday, I slept until 4:00 pm. Basically lazy and unproductive, up until now. Well no, I'm still being lazy and unproductive. Maybe tomorrow I'll be crazy and reproductive.

Visited my mother today. Watched The Green Mile with Cindy and Brian for the 20th time. Still a good movie though.

Well shit, I'm gonna go read the new cosmo, take some Nyquil, and go to bed.
night night

You're Ashleigh! You're awesome, and I like you a
lot! You need to come visit me and watch porn!


Who Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Okay let's see if the picture shows up now...

On to better news... We got a new puppy. Lance has a little sister. Her name is Gwenevere. She is a baby pug, almost 6 weeks old. Precious!!! Liz you need to come see her!! The place we got her from still has a couple more if you wanna make a trip to Petersburg! Man, I wanna eat her.

I hate Donny Osmand. Did I spell that right? OH OH, did anyone watch Passions today? Eve had a dream sequence about Divorce Court. It was fucking hilarious.

Well I better go. Later Spaghators!

I just saw a pig fly past my window

Hats off for Eminem. He got a fucking Oscar last night. I'm serious. His song Lose Yourself from 8 mile beat out all kinds of good shit. Whatever. That's my boy.

Go take Liz's quiz! It's funny. But when I took it, my picture didn't show up. What's up with that? Do I not get a picture?

Well that's basically it. Nick and I are going to wash our cars. Love you guys!
Smooches

Well how about something a little lighter...That last post kinda sounded like a horoscope from hell.

Went to Cricket's (bar in downtown Newburgh) on Friday for Andy Long's mom's B-day. Liz, you will be proud... I sang Karoake (not by myself though) to Summer Lovin'. Had fun until the end. I got hit on by some guy that was cross-eyed. And then some other shit happened. And then I got to booty dance with Chris, which was awesome.
Had a really good day with my dad yesterday. We jumped his Thunderbird and washed it (it was so pretty outside) and then I got my second chance on an attempt to drive a stick. The first time was right after I got my liscense and dad took me on some back roads in Newburgh and out of nowhere a huge ass semi truck appeared and I killed it (not the semi, the car) and the truck kept honking and was right on my ass and I started crying and my dad had to pull me out of the car and move it out of the way. This time I rocked it. Like a pro. I got up to 2nd gear. Nascar, here I come.
Then dad took me to his bar, the 7-11. Well he doesn't own it, he is just a regular of like 15 years. He has been promising to take me for awhile. The only condition is that I will never go in there without him. And that is just fine. The place is a dive and was full of scary bikers with a combined number of maybe nine teeth. But I had fun. And they have the best cheeseburgers ever. EVER.
Went to Kyle's house for dinner and then half of us went to play board (bored) games and the other to Someplace Else . I opted for the bar, eventhough I was planning on laying low that night. Had a lot of deserved fun. I danced my ass off. That always seems to help me when I'm freaking stressed out. Danced with Kyle, Jeremy, Will, and some more of their friends. Kyle was my wingman for most the night. This really gross guy kept trying to dance with me and Kyle informed me that it was the guy that grabbed Mel's crotch. So needless to say I wouldn't let Kyle leave my side.
Today was pretty boring for the most part. The only productive thing I did was shower. Fuck it! Well it looks like I won't be staying up for Adult Swim. If only I had a hot 19 year old to keep me awake. :) I love you guys. Good Night.

Learn To Swim

First off, I would just like to get something off my chest...

If your name rhymes with Fatt Querridge, this is for you...

You are a piece of trash.
You will never again live a happy life or have a fulfilling relationship.
You are a alcoholic and will live with your parents for the rest of your life.
You don't care about anybody but yourself.
I get sick to my stomach when I hear your name and when I think of all the time I wasted on you.
You will never do anything with your life.
You are a liar and a cheater, and I can't wait until it comes around to you.
You are disgusting.
I hope you suffer, you stupid mother fucker.
And if your name rhymes with Belly Beaton....
You can have him.
You can put as much effort and money in it as you want.
You can clean him up everytime he pisses on himself.
He only wants you for a piece of ass.
Just know that you were warned.

Well shit, I feel much better!

Ok I have a lot of very important funny news, so hold on while I build up to it....

Yesterday, went to clinicals and puked a bunch, so they made me sit in the back room and watch CNN for six hours. Ugh, I wanna spit. I hate the war, I hate the thought of what is going to happen after the war, and I hate that the war coverage has replaced Passions. Anyway, so later that night I go to the drag show and get there kinda early, so i help Stacey slick back her hair with this gross milky sticky green stuff. And then proceed to find a seat in the front row so I can make stupid faces at the people I know. So a couple sets go by and then they have a couple contests. And Nick called me up for one. The object of the game was to how fast we could put a condom on a dildo.So I get some cheers and some claps and Stacey yells some lude things at me about "girrrrrrl I KNOW you can do this"... and so on. All of a sudden I thought I was at Club Paradise, being followed around by the DJ with a cordless microphone. And...I Won. Kinda embarrasing. My reward was Chocolate Raspberry Lube. Yummy yummy. So if anybody wants it, let me know. Because sadly enough, it will go unused. Toni? Liz? Anyway so Stacey and Kyle enter the stage for their tribute to Moulin Rouge. Everything is going great until Stacey performs a dramatic jump off the stage. I go over there to tip them (yes we were encouraged to tip) and Stacey is laying on the ground and Kyle is all "Stacey, get up, no really, get up." So the music is stopped and Stacey is helped to the back of the room. Before I get too much further, I would just like to mention that Zack is the ugliest woman I have ever seen. Sorry, but it had to be said. Anyway so the shows goes on until Kyle comes up to me and says, "hey Stacey needs to go the emergency room." So about an hour later, Stace (still with hair slicked back) and I (so making fun of her) are in the ER and realize that we hadn't gotten ahold of Chris yet. So I call and this is one the funniest phone conversations I have had in awhile...
A: "hey Chris"
C: "What's up?"
A: "Um we're in the Emergency Room"
C: "What? What happened"
A: "Stacey fucked up her leg" (in an unamused voice)
C: "Aw damn, what hospital?"
A: "St. Mary's"
C: "Ok cool, well I might swing by"
AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAH, Does anyone else think this is funny as shit. He might swing by? Like it's our Thursday night hang out. Well Stace and I thought it was pretty fucking funny.

Anyway. So I hope she is okay, cause I had to leave around 10 , but I waited until Stacey's posse showed up for support; including Toni, Dustin (not until after stopping at Taco John's. Rock!), Jeremy, and Kyle (still in full makeup).Sorry that I couldn't stay sweetie :(. I had to be at clinicals this morning at 6:30. In which they sent me home 10 minutes after I got there because "I looked like shit."

Well I better go. I just wanted to inform you guys on what you missed. And whoever told her to break a leg is getting a severe ass beating!!!! Oh I would also like to mention that I was seconds away from peeing on myself after reading Liz's blog. Just something about visualizing JD's hair cut(s) and the fart noises. It just struck a funny chord, I guess.

Damnit blogger, you're a fat bitch!!!!

Ew, You Just Made Me Throw Up A Little

I hate being sick. Throwing up is the worst thing ever. I would rather beat my head up against the toilet. Repeatedly. Over and over. With increasing force. Until I pass out.

Stayed up Sunday night watching Adult Swim and then infomercials. Didn't go to bed until 5 ish. Slept through my 8:30 am class on Monday. Went to my stupid ass Pharmacology class at 5 pm. She made us take our exam and then our quiz. Which is supposed to be the other way around. Like the quiz should be taken a week before the exam to prepare us or whatever. But she screwed up the schedule. What a dumbass. Then after driving around and horribly making an ass out of myself, Nick called. Apparently his roommate, Scott, is moving to Washington D.C. today. Went over there and drank and watched Margaret Cho Stand Up. Pretty funny, but I have seen it a gazillion times, well maybe just twice. Went home and got into a bad mood and almost participated in drunk dialing. Thank God I didn't.

Went to class today and threw up. I wasn't hung over or anything. I have been puking randomly for like three weeks. And NO, I'm not pregnant. Went home and and slept through Passions. FUCK! Stacey called me. Thanks Stace! Thursday is the drag show at USI, if anyone wants to go with me???!!! You will see some familiar faces, I guarantee it.

Well I better go. I wanna lay down some more. I miss you guys, a lot...

Ew, You Just Made Me Throw Up A Little

I hate being sick. Throwing up is the worst thing ever. I would rather beat my head up against the toilet. Repeatedly. Over and over. With increasing force. Until I pass out.

Stayed up Sunday night watching Adult Swim and then infomercials. Didn't go to bed until 5 ish. Slept through my 8:30 am class on Monday. Went to my stupid ass Pharmacology class at 5 pm. She made us take our exam and then our quiz. Which is supposed to be the other way around. Like the quiz should be taken a week before the exam to prepare us or whatever. But she screwed up the schedule. What a dumbass. Then after driving around and horribly making an ass out of myself, Nick called. Apparently his roommate, Scott, is moving to Washington D.C. today. Went over there and drank and watched Margaret Cho Stand Up. Pretty funny, but I have seen it a gazillion times, well maybe just twice. Went home and got into a bad mood and almost participated in drunk dialing. Thank God I didn't.

Went to class today and threw up. I wasn't hung over or anything. I have been puking randomly for like three weeks. And NO, I'm not pregnant. Went home and and slept through Passions. FUCK! Stacey called me. Thanks Stace! Thursday is the drag show at USI, if anyone wants to go with me???!!! You will see some familiar faces, I guarantee it.

Well I better go. I wanna lay down some more. I miss you guys, a lot...

Spring Break is oficially over.... Damnit

Not really anything to write home about... um... you know what I mean.

Stacey I'm so sorry about the Ani ticket. I hope that works out OK. You can beat me ass later. No plans tonight except to try to stay awake long enough to watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force and maybe study for a Pharmacology quiz. Shit, I feel so boring right now. I thought I had a bunch of shit to write about but I guess I don't. Eh, Fuck it. Have a whole lot of shit going through my head, but not really ready to write about it. Well I guess that's it, no reason to taunt you . Maybe post later this week.

TaTa

GET OFF MY BRA STRAP, BOY STOP SWEATIN' ME

Ugh only 3 more days left of my Spring Break...

Well let's see... Saw Stacey over the weekend, played a bunch of Encore at Jeremy's house. Ugh (shiver shiver) I hate that game. Actually we played that two nights in a row. Then afterwards (on Saturday) Toni, Dustin, and Stacey left to go on a mission. Someone needs to tell me how that went. Then I left and went to Cindy's son's house, he was having a party. Had a lot of fun. Overheard someone talking about some girl named Tassin, it turned out it was the one we all know, and they consider her a crazy psycho bitch. Saw my old roommate, Cheyenne. Kick ass! Helped take home this really big drunk guy that admitted to seeing a demon in his house, and looked me straight in the eye and said if I ever see a ghost to give him a call and he would expell it from my house. Something about...In the name of J.C. flee yourself from my domain. Whatever. Stayed up until 6:00 am. I haven't done that in such a long time! Then on Sunday I rearranged my room, it looks bad ass. Oh and I also dyed my hair, it looks bad ass too. Then Cindy and I watched The Ring and ended up sleeping in the living room together.

On Monday, I went to Louisville with Corinne to visit Brian and Becky. Another apology to Stacey. Sorry I couldn't see you! At least I got my hot Stacey action over the weekend. We went to this place called Henry's Ark. It's so fucking funny. Especially when you are stoned. It's this guy's farm and it's open for people to just walk around and play with the animals. The animals were so tame. They would all just walk up to you and be all...what's up. Like deer, zebras, billy goats, bunnies, peacocks, pigs, donkeys (one had the biggest dick I have ever seen in my life), and emus (they are so gross... one of them followed us around the whole time...it only had one eye). Then we drank margaritas and danced to en vogue. We stayed the night and the next day we went to some place called Ginny's. They have deep fried pickle chips. They are crazy. MMMHHHHHHHmHhhh! Becky burned me a copy of the new Missy Elliot CD. I know you guys are jealous. BlahDOW.

Today I washed and vacuumed out my car. And now I'm watching Passions. Does Beth for real think she looks inconspicuous in that wig. What a dumb bitch. Oh did anyone see the episode where Julian and Rebecca dressed up like Moulin Rouge characters? BaaaHaaaaHaaaa

Well just wanted update my readers! Guess I'll see you guys later. Audi