Breathe out, So I can breathe you in

I know I was just on here, but I figured that it was better, much better, than drunk dialing. And I'm sure a lot of my possible victims are probably sleeping or something. And I need to get all of this random shit out of my head, so that I can go to sleep.

Don't you hate it when certain songs drag you into some reminiscent hazy state of damnit-I-hate-it-when-stupid-things-make-me-think-about-you. And then all you can think about is that person that the song reminds you of. I hate it. Same thing with smells. Cologne, you know, whatever. It's driving me nuts. Went to Harpole's , well just got home. Euphany played. You know, the cover band that played at Breakers on Matt's birthday when he got me into a fight and then barked at the waitresses at Steak N Shake. Yeah, that band. The one that I said sucked really bad. Well I guess they are not so bad now. But I guess that could have something to do with the alcohol. Heard so many songs that reminded me of Past Past relationships, driving around, and smoking pot at those "secret" trumpet parties in high school. I don't know. It probably doesn't make any sense to anyone but me. But get over it. This is my blog and no one is making you read this. So be prepared for sudden topic change. Oh and why can't girls have balls, or at least a female version of them. I have recently noticed that I have a stupid little crush on the lead singer of this band, and that's basically all it will ever amount to. It's probaly the dark hair and dark eyes. Man that messes me up, really bad. Maybe it's the guys that need the balls. Because instead of staring and making annoyingly frequent eye contact, Do something. Damnit.But it's probably a good thing I didn't say anything because later on in the night, he says over the microphone, "Just wanna say happy birthday to my girlfriend, Mmwa." Figures, right? You know, FUCK IT. At least I have something to daydream about. Why worry about someone else, why worry about someone who says they will call or stop by, but never does. Why worry about someone who says they will come over if you call and call and call and ask them to, only to get voice mail and excuses. Why. What a fucking waste of time. Why worry about someone who you thought was going to be a really great friend, but ended up not doing very good job at all. I'm so sick of it. I can't worry about this stuff. This is why I can't stop throwing up every freaking day. I worry about everything else, except for whats important and actually directly affects me. I have a job now, a freaking career, a life of my own. And you know all I can think of is the Career Fair we had in junior high. I seriously wrote down beautician, ballet dancer, and interior designer for my expected future careers. That makes no sense at all. And now I'm a nurse, a fucking RN. Well basically. Who would have thought? Not me. Whoa tangent. Well anyway, all I was trying to get across was...don't worry about anyone but yourself omigod holdup Lionel Richie and Rob Zombie are singing Brick House together on Jay Leno. Weird. You know everytime I see Lionel Richie I think of that video for... "Hello, is it me your looking for..." where the blind girl makes a bust of him out of clay. Nevermind. Ew now Trina is rapping. You know, the baddest bitch. No? Oh uh I graduate May 11th, but I decided to not walk through graduation because all of USI will be there...so the nursing students have their own thing May 9th...it's our pinning ceremony. So if any of you will be in town and want to go, let me know so I can reserve seats. I already have like 25 people signed up. I guess my family is really excited that I actually made it this time. Well all I want to do is lie my head down on my desk so I guess I should probably go to bed.
Love you guys and sorry/thank you for reading all of the stupid posts that have been up lately including this one.